is being alive not enough?

I saw many people in life who just want to be beautiful or rich or very successful without knowing why they want these things. I think they are simply want to be loved. They want people to love them and they are too afraid to confess this to themselves. So they end up escaping from this real desire they have. Because after all, they are too cool to care about being loved, right? If they accept this verbally, it will make it even more real. So they won't. I always wondered whether I am one of them, and of course, as a human who is a product of my time in history, I am similar. But then, I never wanted those things, this made me the strange kid when I was young. Later in adulthood, I became an adult who didn't have high ambitions. But I did have different kinds of ambitions in life like pursuing what I love for the sake of it. Don't get me wrong, my family wasn't rich. But I never felt that they would love me less if I will not be successful, or beautiful, or rich. I didn't feel the burden on my shoulders to be those things. But when I get older, I saw many others who did. It affected me too. Maybe I needed more to feel happy and satisfied. So, I slowly realised... Yes, I want security in life, enough money to survive monthly. 

But if the economic system fails to provide me with these, it is not my responsibility. I am not failing in anything, the system is failing. For me, being rich is morally wrong - it is even evil in a world where others are dying because of poverty. Yes, I am angry that the system is allowing some people to acquire that amount of money while others suffer daily. So, it is a political and economic problem to solve. So, rich people rely on systematic economical injustice because no one deserves to be rich while others are poor, and no one deserves to be poor while others are rich.  But you can say yes Dilara the system is failing, but I have one life and I want to be the one who has money so that my kids can have better lives in the future, and yes okay if you are aware of this, of course, do your best to have enough money to leave behind but I hope you will remember to leave enough love to change the world. So that your kids won't think that they need money to love humans.

For me changing the world means that creating a world where humans won't be afraid of loving themselves and loving each other. We need a system where people can love each other truly, instead of exploiting each other. Think twice. Do you want to be successful or do you want to make the people know that you are successful so that they can love you more? You just want them to know that you deserve to be loved so that they can stay in your life? Do you want to be beautiful so that everyone will like you or want to speak with you? So maybe you just want to be loved enough to be listened to and appreciated by people you care about? We all want to love and be loved. The rest is the toolbox and we think we need to have to love and be loved. Because we care! 

But why do people love us? Does it happen in a day? If I am successful, beautiful, and rich, is the world suddenly gonna love me more? Am I going to love myself more? Why do I have extra reasons to love myself? Probably because I (and many others) learned this when I was a kid. If I win something, my parents verbally said that to me wow great Dilara! But what about the other times I "failed"? Was it a failure when I tried and put my effort into something and it didn't work? I didn't look beautiful that evening, I wasn't successful at my Math exam in high school, or my clothes weren't from the rich people's brands. So, did my parents or friends say that it is okay, look, it doesn't matter. No, they didn't. Because it did matter. But what about me? Did I say it to myself? Of course, I couldn't as a kid who was just discovering what the world meant to me, to others, to all of us. I was just observing and mostly accepting the rules of the world. 

But later in life, I slowly realised that I do not need to be afraid of me caring. I am not afraid of my vulnerabilities. Yes of course I care about many things in life, and caring makes me feel vulnerable, but If I don't care, what is left of me to do? I care to love and be loved. I do not want to have harsh requirements from myself. To love me and others, I didn't need to have those things like they told me. Just because I am not 'X' enough, I won't stop loving myself. I am not afraid of saying to the world Wait but I want to love me and everyone else on the planet! I don't care whether they are beautiful or successful, I love them because they are alive!

Why do people think that being alive is not enough to love? Give love and to be loved, being alive should be enough!

People care about being "successful" because we need approval about what we do in life. And we hope that this approval will feel like a parent's approval so we will take it as love. But we do not need to wait until being successful to love ourselves and others. So, being alive is enough to love - to love yourselves and others. So, when I see other people from different cultures, I truly see humans because after all being alive is enough. It is enough to love others, and if we are all brave enough to love ourselves, and then we will eventually love all of us even more.

                                                                    (from Before Sunrise)